Sunday, August 14, 2005


spells joy. as i type this i am dancing in my room to the sounds of diana krall. i will do the best i can in involving you in this. its a challenge b/c you are def' not here. in spirit, body, or even time... i've already written this if you're reading it now...


its about 1 am and my roommate andrew is about to go to sleep. my other roommate paul is out... (with a girl). haha. i just wanted to share this party i'm having with myself and diana b/c its liberating. i'm dancing. and cleaning. i'm just liking this music, thanks to erin weaver.


1.04 am. so get this. i've been thinking a lot about death. in a good way. i think its healthy to conceptualize it and realize how fragile we are. not to be hermits and cautioned, frightened people about it, but to do the almost opposite and live in joy, freedom and love. a friend of mine (delana. check her blog) almost died a couple of days ago driving on the interstate. i'm not gonna tell the story, but she did say something that gives me a strange new hope in things. jesus, people, myself. she told me that she doesn't want to waste time with things. she said god wasn't done with her. he gave her another chance. she says see wants to act more on her impulses b/c "nothing is gaurenteed..." she said. she said that.

that's how i want to live too. i'm confident that jesus is doing great things in the hearts of those that are following him. just look... i'm dancing.


ah, so. its 1.28am and i just remembered that today was saturday. which means tomorrow is sunday. or now is sunday. its already tomorrow. but i was saying that i was dancing. and that delana had an accident. and that jesus is doing things in people's hearts b/c i can see it. i can see people changing and not from time and just getting old but from being close to jesus himself. its a wild thing to think about. being changed because of love. its like WATCHING A GARDEN GROW. yes. i like how that sounds. all of you who are believers and brothers/sisters of mine can understand that statement. its a wild thing. b/c its not a physical thing you can put your hands on. its like watching things catch on fire. exactly.

ok. i'll end this here. i dance in a way that would probably be welcomed in the 80s. see: the dance scene in the breakfast club and you'll understand. but, i don't do it normally b/c i feel like my body isn't used to it. my soul wants to shake around, but my body is so reluctant. i think the music helps. (duh). i want to dance more, like delana says, and nurture my impulses.

this is most random.