i found this recently on another friend's blog:
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to do list

1. At lunch time, sit in parked car with sunglasses on and point hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page self over the intercom. Don't disguise voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put garbage can on desk and label it "IN".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all checks, write "for smuggling diamonds".
7. Finish all sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
8. Dont use any punctuation
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat with a serious face.
11. Specify that drive through order is "to go."
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. 14. Put mosquito netting around work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell friends you can't attend their party because you are not in the mood.
16. Have co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Bottom".
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON, I WON".
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
20. Never let go of the tenet: "Unoriginality is the spice of life"