Monday, October 16, 2006


i posted an entry a few weeks ago about a concert that i attended last month. i am still recovering from that experience.

i saw my brightest diamond open for sufjan stevens last month at the fox theater in atlanta and as i said before, i was very moved by all of it. never before have i been to a concert/musical event and left feeling like i wanted to be a better person. i mean, as i sat in the audience among hundreds of interested fans, i giggled and 'awed' and smiled to myself and wondered, "what's keeping me from being the best that i can be at whatever i do?"

the songs for some reason speak directly to me as a being. i haven't experienced that in a while. music that i feel i could make myself. they seem like the kind of songs someone would write FOR you to listen to, FOR you to understand a bigger picture (something that you've been through), to understand you are not missunderstood. somehow.

sufjan and his community of extremely creative friends and family seem to do that; their thing, very well.

yeah, so i've been re-evaluating the things i've been giving myself and my time to. musical things, artisitic things, mundane things, relational things. i've been evaluating what means the most and why. i'm trying to evaluate why i started out with these things in the first place. its a tricky task though.

i'm trying to surround myself with good people. its funny.

one funny thing that's been on my mind is hoping to let other people know that i need them to be themselves, their true selves. i need them to mess up and keep going but know why. i need them to be as creative as they know how to be. i need them to 'put to paint' or put to music what they can't say in words. i need them to be honest.

i need that because i want to be that way as well.

if you're reading this, then somehow i must consider you a friend. i'd like to thank you for being the way you are so that i could call you 'friend'. i'll try my best to do the same in the days to come.

this post is dedicated to guy marcus jenkins. he's been on my mind lately.