Thursday, June 02, 2005

and to the surprise of some...

i did go to the beach in the drizzle. and it was very relaxing. i parked in a little 24 hour grocery/supply store lot owned by a guy named "bert" who named the place "bert's". bert's. i felt a little guilty for taking up space at the store, so i thought, "i'll just go buy something." and i did. one of those 2-hour-old hot dogs and a cookie. a soft one. i said cheers and left, guiltfree. bert's.

the beach was about a block away from bert's. it was still muggy and windy but cozy with my hoodie on.
i read more of "searching for god knows what" (don miller) and just kind of soaked up the convenience of the laziness that is... da beach.

ok. so a couple of hours pass and a mommy with 2 kids come out to play in the water. and this is probably the most interesting part of what i'm writing. so i could've easily left out the rest of that stuff you just read. (bert's.) if you're reading this. i apologize.

but, this mother in her 30s, with a 3-4 year old boy and girl are playing in the sea foam a few feet away from me. i am kind of pearched on this big long beam of concrete that the fishermen use when they... fish. and alongside the beam there are these huge rocks. the kind that just always hang around the beach. rocks. you know what i'm talking about. so, the kids are being kids and running back and forth, racing the waves and the riptide while (from the shore) the mommy is suggesting that they not run too far. probably because they are only about 3 feet tall and don't weigh very much.

ps. the waves are really big today. with the wind and all, i saw a few of them get maybe 6-7 feet high and heavy. on occassion, i felt the waves beat all the way on the end of the beam. so the water is a little scary. but the kids didn't think this. they didn't see any of the boards and seaweeds being thrown around and sucked back into the sea. they just saw foam. lots of foam and moving water on the sand. i remember seeing the boy run along the beach laughing hysterically b/c he was covered in the stuff. (the foam) was up to his neck and he looked like someone had assaulted him with cool whip. 'twas funny.

now, the strange thing here is that i'm assuming you actually care about what's going on in my life, so i'm going to try and give you more insight on the state of my brain and my bystander point of view here. i'm listening to sigur ros (song: staralfur, from "the life aquatic with steve zissou" soundtrack), so my mood is just naturally euphoric. and have a hoodie on, so i feel like a monk. and in the book i i'm reading, donald miller talks about being obedient and having morals, and how they're pointless if there is no real reason (being a characteristic of being in love with christ, understanding god's love/protection over us). and as a father, he is good b/c he actually gives us laws and rules to protect, and that he cares. this is a lame summary, but basically, he said, "love creates rules, and forgives when they are broken." and as i'm reading this line on the beach and trying to understand it, to identify with it, god is showing me himself to the left of this beam i'm sitting on.

the mom keeps pleading to the kids, "come back, don't go too far, watch out, stay away from the rocks..." and so on. they obey, and then continue to play. (kids are liberating to watch. be with them as frequently as possible.) you can tell that the mother loved her children, and they knew this b/c they stayed close to her. they even held on to each of her legs a couple of times when the foam charged at them.

the mother loved her kids. i could tell from the freedom in their playing, even though there are large rocks and solid concrete beams that could easily break their bones and waves that could carry them all the way up the east coast. they may not understand this with their miniature appendages, but they know they are loved and protected with their mother there. all they knew is freedom.

i liked that picture.