Wednesday, August 31, 2005

we all have bad days

ok. ready? go.

tuesday morning (1 pm), call home to tell momma i overdrew my account a "little bit". she offers to help out and send cash for rent. we rejoice. go to get bobby at 2. traffic horrible and hot. gas tank is on -E. i convince myself i am superman and press on to mt. pleasant, sc. get bobby. changes into his horseback riding clothes, complete with boots and helmet. bobby says his shoes are too small. asks me to feel the toe. it is true. his shoes are too tight. we agree that his mom would know what to do about that. we press onward to the nearest gas station for a quick snack before riding lessons. bobby steps out. 5 steps to the convenient store door we notice a blue gum trail. i point this out to bobby. bobby looks. tears appear. so does a frown. brief intermission. he proclaims to hate people who "leave their gum on the ground" and makes fists. there is gum on his laces and sole. i tell him to calm down and that everyone has bad days from time to time. i ask if he would like to go sit in the car. he says no. we press on. snacks are selected, paid for and eaten by us. bobby asks if i ever have bad days. i share that i do. i have many. i share stories that included my car and things like money. he is comforted. onward to the stables. bobby can focus when he's around the horses. i am a witness. 4:30 back to the house. we attempt homework. that's all. parents arrive. bobby has a had a not-so-bad day after all. i leave for home around 5. scheduled practice at 6:30 with friends. digital gas hand reads 20 miles to empty. i am tense but not afraid. i do stop to fill a stubborn flat tire with 50 cent air. no more shakes. we press on. a few wrong turns and premature exits change the gas hand to 10. north charleston now to mt. pleasant. 5 miles. get off for nearest gas station. knowingly not having a working debit card, i try cheating the system. does not work. i have cash back at the house. back at the house. the house. we press on. back on the road to mt. pleasant there is an accident on the bridge. traffic is a monster. gas is at 1 mile. a call is made to frank to cancel practice, now that it is 6:33. i pull over. turn the car off. i sit. i pray. i read luke. i pray. 7 or 8 min pass and a car horn squeaks. to my left is wade. wade is my friend. do you need a ride? yes. wade is going to church in mt. pleasant. i tell him it is nice to see him. 4 times. the annex is where i met god tonight. we talked about the prodigal son. i am he. i am humbled. i am alright. afterwards i explain that my brain cannot understand that god is as good as he says he is. as good as i've seen him to be. as good as he's been. wade agrees. we press on. back home i meet with paul. paul is my roomate and friend. we take a field trip to rescue my car. i grab cash. we purchase a gas tank and a gallon of gas. we find my car and bottle-feed it gasoline. we are confident. to the trunk to put away the can i step in a substance resembling wet paper. it is gum. i am frozen. i am amazed. i smile. i wave to paul. i laugh. i laugh. he laughs. paul says not to cry. i laugh. god makes strange cameos. we press on. we "fill up" at the next station. i give the thumbs up sign. i am still tense. i just want to get home. over 526. through I-17. there is one last obstacle. a bridge. we have gas. we have confidence. we have turbulence. we have a stubborn tire. yes THE stubborn tire. i hear noise. i feel shakes. i hear a big noise. i feel a big shake. there is a chunk of tire in the rear view. it is not attatched to a car. it is mine. we pull over. on the bridge, paul has been following and i wave to him again. he waves back. we agree that these things happen. we are amazed. i think about the opening scene of the movie "garden state". i think of aloha music. we change the tire. we laugh about the gum. we are dirty. we press on. i am home. i am well. i hug paul. if it weren't for the gum, i would be depressed. i don't understand god. i think that's a good thing.