Tuesday, August 30, 2005

homesickness, withdrawl, etc.

the homeless don't want money. they want you. they really do. my freshman year of college i had a strange burden for the homeless. almost every encounter i had with a "bum" or "pan handler" on the streets of charleston, if i didn't have any cash to spare, i would just talk. not empty words either, i mean, we would really talk about god and life and sin. most of which i didn't initiate, but entertained. there was an evening i remember praying with a guy at about 3 in the morning. (yes, i am a wierdo. ask me about it sometime). i swear its golden when someone feels like they are worth something. worth more than spare change. and more than the clothes they're wearing. or not wearing. there are people in the street i've never given money to but tried showing they were significant and it worked. it means a good bit. people don't (just) want beer money. people don't want nice things. we want each other. we want attention. we want relationship. we want love. we want jesus. we want to feel the creator of the universe actually gives a crap. and we want to be forgiven.

once again, i'm not bragging on myself. definitely not on myself. i've just been thinking about how jesus was in the days of the new testament and healing demon possessed and diseased ridden children and the homeless(!)... i think that all those "multitudes" of people followed him not just b/c he did all of these miracles and healings and supernatural tricks. i think they were amazed that he actually LOVED them. he TOUCHED them. he PRAYED with them. he looked them in the eye and meant it. this made him attractive. i think this is what should make christians attractive too. its why i'm still attracted to jesus.

i feel like i miss him. i feel a strange homesickness. missing a place i've never been. i feel like jesus met me where i was. i feel like he is still meeting me, just not at this moment. i don't know where this is going.

i just miss him, i guess. that's all, i bet.


do you miss him too?